Once I came to a place where I could honestly say that I had a problem, I tried like hell to avoid one thing…..Withdrawal. I thought about going back to a drug and alcohol treatment facility, but that I wanted to avoid at all cost. Not saying that drug and alcohol treatment centers are bad. They have their place, and have certainly benefited many over the years. Yet, based off my last experience, I just felt it wasn’t the place for me. I searched for alternatives, and came across a program online, using alcohol to gradually taper off, of alcohol.
Needless to say, this did not work for me. Just my experience. I’m not sure that there is any such thing as moderation, or tapering off for someone suffering from alcohol addiction. And, again, that’s just my opinion. For me this time around, it was cold turkey. I know that not everyone agrees with that method either, and it poses a lot of concern/risks. For myself, it’s the route I had to go, and here I am at day six. That in itself has been amazing to me.
However, I must say, the past few days have been somewhat miserable. The first few days, I felt kind of okay, physically. But, day three came around, and it was a whole different story. Day three through five I experienced the worst “hangover” ever. And, I know the word “hangover” well. The headache, nausea, chills, night sweats, and the ache in my liver was horrible. I guess my liver had gone into overdrive to rid itself of the toxins. And, then the sleepless nights. Just lying in bed tossing and turning. But, in looking back, that’s one of the reasons having a few glasses of wine in the evening appealed to me in the first place, and led me to where I am. I have always been quite the insomniac, and realize that this is one of my triggers. I actually struggled with the notion that one glass wouldn’t hurt, but I know the lie all too well.
Last night was another long sleepless night, but, I got up this morning feeling somewhat refreshed. I’m feeling tired, but the “hangover” is gone. I truly feel as though the worst is behind me, and the best is yet to come. And, the greatest part is, I feel more clear-headed and stronger than I have in years. I’m liking this feeling, and feel that I’m for the first time in a long time, on the road to recovery. HB